Oh Charlie, this is a beautiful, beautiful, heartbreakingly honest piece. Especially the latter half had me all teary-eyed. On account of all the perpetually nervous and squirrelly girls out there, I thank you for allowing us to see ourselves reflected in your words. And once again one idea continues to ring true: In a system that relies on isolating individualism, the ultimate act of defiance must be to see humanity in others.
My boyfriend once told me a story about how one of his close friends got beaten up in an attempt robbery. That’s not really uncommon here, since I live in Rio and its plagued by inequality very deeply. He told me his friend was “”apolitical“”(which is not really a thing but you know) before that but after that incident started to feel very strongly about the death penalty even for minors. After my boyfriend told me that story my first thought was of your essay, I told him to read it and he said he didn’t understand why I made the connection, since his friend wasn’t a victim of an accident, it was made with a lot of intent and probably premeditated, even though the connection was very clear to me my boyfriend couldn’t see it.
I’ve personally have never been a victim of something that brutal, and wouldn’t even know how I’d react. I didn’t want to judge his friend on what had happened cause it must’ve been awful, but to resort to that anger and complete disregard for another person who’s a victim of profound social inequality seemed unreasonable
there’s not really a point to what i’m saying here lol but it reminded me of this, and your first essay on this impacted me very deeply
Really good piece. I could be wrong, but it seems as though you were alluding to what happened to Jordan Neely in the second half of this piece. Why not refer to him directly?
I think there’s a parallel there and with what you write here. Fundamentally, a social order predicated on violence and domination will replicate many of the anxieties you describe for yourself and the circumstances leading up to Jordan Neely’s murder, as well as the myriad humiliations suffered by other people broadly under the umbrella of disabled.
It was really amazing how you linked your experience so subtly to what’s been in the news.
ohhh i'll certainly be returning to this essay ... not only so beautifully written but so important. it's all too easy to see people who act in ways which make us and the systems above us 'uncomfortable' as more of a risk than they are at-risk. with every level of comfort we rise into, it gets easier and easier to see these people as irremediably different to us, and therefore - like you said - as not real people. i'm sorry about what happened to you. the mindset with which you're healing from it is brave and radical and loving and we can all learn from it. <3
"But as much as I want to, I don’t say this or scream this because I know that the easiest way to get labeled insane is to tell people you are not insane. Unfortunately, the easiest way to feel insane is to know that other people think you are." wow. wow wow wow. beautifully and sharply written; thank you so much for this piece.
this is excellent and so thoughtfully written. i work with survivors of police torture, and this particular conversation around what is defined as violence is always present. i’m so struck by “Would I have been just as likely to be beaten if my attacker was never incarcerated?” the carceral system is harmful to all of us, even those of us who have never been directly touched by it. thank you for your writing. i’m sorry that something so scary happened to you.
Oh Charlie, this is a beautiful, beautiful, heartbreakingly honest piece. Especially the latter half had me all teary-eyed. On account of all the perpetually nervous and squirrelly girls out there, I thank you for allowing us to see ourselves reflected in your words. And once again one idea continues to ring true: In a system that relies on isolating individualism, the ultimate act of defiance must be to see humanity in others.
Wow ,this was amazingly written.Also carries an important message ,I wish everyone would read this.
My boyfriend once told me a story about how one of his close friends got beaten up in an attempt robbery. That’s not really uncommon here, since I live in Rio and its plagued by inequality very deeply. He told me his friend was “”apolitical“”(which is not really a thing but you know) before that but after that incident started to feel very strongly about the death penalty even for minors. After my boyfriend told me that story my first thought was of your essay, I told him to read it and he said he didn’t understand why I made the connection, since his friend wasn’t a victim of an accident, it was made with a lot of intent and probably premeditated, even though the connection was very clear to me my boyfriend couldn’t see it.
I’ve personally have never been a victim of something that brutal, and wouldn’t even know how I’d react. I didn’t want to judge his friend on what had happened cause it must’ve been awful, but to resort to that anger and complete disregard for another person who’s a victim of profound social inequality seemed unreasonable
there’s not really a point to what i’m saying here lol but it reminded me of this, and your first essay on this impacted me very deeply
Beautiful essay, thank you for sharing
Really good piece. I could be wrong, but it seems as though you were alluding to what happened to Jordan Neely in the second half of this piece. Why not refer to him directly?
Towards the end of your piece I was reminded of an essay about the cost of living in a disabling world. (https://amp.theguardian.com/society/2021/nov/04/the-high-cost-of-living-in-a-disabling-world)
I think there’s a parallel there and with what you write here. Fundamentally, a social order predicated on violence and domination will replicate many of the anxieties you describe for yourself and the circumstances leading up to Jordan Neely’s murder, as well as the myriad humiliations suffered by other people broadly under the umbrella of disabled.
It was really amazing how you linked your experience so subtly to what’s been in the news.
ohhh i'll certainly be returning to this essay ... not only so beautifully written but so important. it's all too easy to see people who act in ways which make us and the systems above us 'uncomfortable' as more of a risk than they are at-risk. with every level of comfort we rise into, it gets easier and easier to see these people as irremediably different to us, and therefore - like you said - as not real people. i'm sorry about what happened to you. the mindset with which you're healing from it is brave and radical and loving and we can all learn from it. <3
"But as much as I want to, I don’t say this or scream this because I know that the easiest way to get labeled insane is to tell people you are not insane. Unfortunately, the easiest way to feel insane is to know that other people think you are." wow. wow wow wow. beautifully and sharply written; thank you so much for this piece.
Hey Charlie.
We are trying to reach you for a potential collaboration.
We are Biyaku, a sexuality app with courses and guided meditations... You can check our Substack and Instagram below.
https://biyaku.me
https://instagram.com/biyaku.app/
If you are interested at all, mail to mete@biyaku.me please. Love...
this is excellent and so thoughtfully written. i work with survivors of police torture, and this particular conversation around what is defined as violence is always present. i’m so struck by “Would I have been just as likely to be beaten if my attacker was never incarcerated?” the carceral system is harmful to all of us, even those of us who have never been directly touched by it. thank you for your writing. i’m sorry that something so scary happened to you.
colleagues of mine at my aforementioned job wrote this analysis on state and community violence, and how they’re not so different after all, that i think is remarkably aligned with what you’re saying: https://thetriibe.com/2023/02/perspective-lets-have-a-more-expansive-conversation-about-the-connection-between-state-and-intracommunal-violence/