14 Comments
Feb 9, 2023Liked by charlie squire

I adore everything you write! I really really related to the part about understanding my body as something that witnessed everything I’ve gone through. For a long time I very consciously split my body from my brain so I could have casual sex and “enjoy” it. It’s been almost a year since I’ve had sex and during that time I’ve been able to connect with my body and see it as my own. I’m entirely disinterested in casual sex right now (maybe it’ll change someday I’m still very young) and I’m really grateful the mundanity of my sexless life brought me there. It is sooo boring sometimes but has made me much more aware of what my body does for me and how I related to it which is completely worth it

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I really love this piece. What you write about pressure to have a “liberated” sexuality in response to conservative and religious constraints around sex really hit home. It took me a long time to look at celibacy as something that could be a positive personal choice but once I chose it without feeling like I was missing out on the way I was supposed to be spending my early 20s, it felt healthy and allowed me to heal from past experiences. I don't think you can sum it all up better than: "You don’t get validation from not sleeping with people. But maybe that’s the most rewarding part of it all, the sense of discipline, a unique reverence for one’s own body."

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Thank you for talking about this!! You exposed new inquires for me about intentional or unintentional celibacy and introspection, were incredibly vulnerable and honest about topics that feel hard to face in writing and the digital world, and deeply deeply inspired me to investigate my relationship to sex and my body. In my experience, a desire for sex can be related to a desire to be perceived and accepted as a sexual being, worthy of love, intellectually apt, emotionally connectable, and general worthiness. I have always held myself, whether I like it or not, as a monogamous princess - I cannot disconnect sex from a deep desire to be fully validated emotionally & physically, which often leads in heartbreak. Thus, your point on realizing just because someone wants to have sex with you doesn’t mean they like you or have care for you. A lot to think about, just some of my thoughts, thank you for this piece<3

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Feb 9, 2023Liked by charlie squire

“It’s like giving up online shopping, or choosing not to overshare when it would have been socially acceptable to do so; nothing wrong with the alternative, but there’s a timeless mystique in denying yourself indulgence” >>>>

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After separating from my husband three years ago I haven’t had sex since. The longest I’ve gone since I was 15, and I’m 48. It’s been good. I’m writing about this soon! I loved reading your perspective as a young woman.

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Okay you’re officially one of my favorite writers.

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this is such an incredible piece! you're an amazing writer ❤️

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You have such a powerful voice when you write, im enamoured with you

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I love this so much and I can’t articulate well enough how so. I’ll just say that it is very comforting to see writing about past versions of yourself with tenderness, honesty and respect. On a less serious note, realizing celibacy is boring is so real.

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